This blog is part of a series on work-life balance, particularly in the areas of family, work, church and play. Read the other entries here.

It is possible to line up the main areas of your life so they harmonize with one another to create a joyful sound, instead of a funeral dirge. Here are three keys:

Give your most valued area more focus than the others:

We can sometimes give more attention to those roles that don’t matter as much to us, instead of the ones that matter the most to us. Which roles are the most important to your heart? Order them. When you order them in terms of importance, as opposed to urgency, then you can avoid internal strain and conflict. Consider the following list of activities that are most likely in your life: family, work, faith, hobbies, entertainment, study, personal development, sport, community, computer, social gatherings, friends, TV.  First, write them down in the order of importance. Second, write them in the order of the amount of time you spend doing them. Does the order match? Why or why not? What can you do about it?

Apply consistent values across all four areas:

A work-family balance can be achieved by applying consistent personal values across all the roles in your life. In other words, if you value honesty at home, but lie at work, then this double-standard will create stress that leads to strain. Other values may include work ethic or the importance of honor or encouragement or teamwork. A commitment to your own personal values can act as a common denominator among your various roles that can help to tie them together in a productive way.

Openly and regularly discuss the areas that make up your life:

The factors that contribute to work-family conflict are either job-related, family-related or individual-related. Job-related factors which contribute to work-family conflict are things like job type, time commitments, role overload or inflexibility. Family-related factors may consist of life-cycle stage, number of children, family involvement or childcare arrangements. Individual-related factors are values, gender role orientation, locus of control and perfectionism.

By identifying and discussing these factors and how they affect one another, you can begin to learn to manage them and their contribution to work-family conflict. This is where the use of a mentor in your life would be of great benefit. The mentor can act as a sounding board, enabling you to continually dialogue about the affects of the contributing factors to work-family conflict. Results from a field survey of 502 employees showed that individuals with mentors reported significantly less work-family conflict, particularly family → work conflict, than those respondents who did not have mentors (Nielson, Carlson & Lankau, 2001). 

Nielson, T.R., Carlson, D.S. & Lankau, M.J. (2001). The supportive mentor as a means of reducing work-family conflict. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 59(3), 364-381. 

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